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Last week I was sent to New York to meet SAS For Women and interview them for our Modern Shift Blog. SAS is a dynamic company successfully helping women thrive post divorce. Modern Shift is excited to showcase resources like SAS; We celebrate their efforts and expertise because they are changing the divorce experience for the better.

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  • Mediation, Job Placement, life coach, NYC Divorce Resources, Resources for the unmarried, NYC, Women helping Women, Divorce Coaching, coaching, SAS
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

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08-19-2015 03:00 am

Divorce Reboot Job 2.0

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So the dust has settled from your divorce, and now you’re (sort of) ready to start picking up the pieces and building a new life! “Life 2.0”, maybe even--or in my case “3.0”. If, like me, you were a “stay-at-home-mom’ who didn’t work “outside the home”, whatever that means (I seldom stayed at home and I did lots of work nobody else would do), and the extent of your computer and IT or whatever they call technology knowledge these days is knowing that your iPhone needs to be updated every so often (but you’re not quite sure how this happens), you need to take a refresher course before you attempt to rejoin the workforce.

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  • work, work and divorce, job hunting, work outside the home, job opportunities
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Karin, Sophia Farinella and Brian commented on this Post

Post - 1

A bad breakup can leave a girl feeling lost and directionless. How do you get your groove back when someone rips your heart out and leaves you, taking your self-esteem as well as half the contents of your checking account?

Even if you’re the one who did the leaving, love is a battlefield, and you still bear the scars. Here are my suggestions of how to process the hurt and let the healing begin:

1. Start Something New You’ve Always Wanted to Try

2. Acts of Service

3. Get Into Kick-Ass Shape

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  • Happinness After Divorce, Life After Divorce, Finding Happiness After Divorce, divorce advice, fresh start
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho, Brian and kyle commented on this Post

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No matter how much of a positive spin we put on it, even the “best” of divorces is hell, and we all know it. Yes, you’re better off. Yes, now you can eat cereal for dinner and control the remote and not have to put up with shit from your shitty spouse, but it’s still an emotionally turbulent, expensive, chaotic, scary time, and you need a while to recover, to sit around and cry and drink and not have to see anyone, much less confront the disturbing prospect of dating again, this time in your thirties, forties, fifties, or worse. You thought all that was over with when you met “Mr or Miss right and got hitched, “for better or for worse”! But sooner or later you’ve got to get back out there, because you’ve got all your life to live, and all your love to give, and you will survive! How do you know when the essential recovery period is over and it’s time to put your Big Boy/Girl pants back on and re-join the Love Army?

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  • Life After Divorce, Moving On After Divorce, divorce advice
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho and Brian commented on this Post

Post - 1

I wake up feeling alone, lost, and worried about my future.

My kids are a mess, I have bills to pay, and a house to clean. I don’t feel like it, but I pull on a pair of yoga pants I pick up off the floor, knock back a cup of coffee, and head out into the snow to go to yoga class.

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  • yoga, Mind Body
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

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Breathe different air in a place where nobody knows you or revisit a place where you once found peace.

But it’s not always so easy, is it? If you have kids, you have to find someone to watch them, and now is the time to call in those favors if you don’t have doting parents anxious to lavish their grandchildren with TLC and chocolate chip cookies while you’re gone. And how will you pay for it, when you just shelled out $15K for a retainer and/or now you’re paying spousal support and furnishing new digs?

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  • Life After Divorce, Travel After Divorce, Finding Life After Divorce, Happinness After Divorce
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Zoe Migel, Caroline Ticho and Brian commented on this Post

Post - 1

Almost two decades ago, when I told my grandmother I was worried about taking a chance and regretting my choice, she hugged me and said, “Trust me, honey, that’s not what you’re going to regret when you’re my age. If anything, you will likely kick yourself a little for not taking more chances on the infinite number of opportunities you have today.”

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  • Life, Life After Divorce, The Road Less Traveled, Lust for Life, Move On, fresh start
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho, Zoe Migel, Eva and 1 other commented on this Post

Post - 1

Perhaps you have heard of parents “Nesting” (sometimes called “Birds-nesting”) while separated or divorcing. Nesting refers to a transitional arrangement where parents continue to share the family home and take turns being “on duty” with their children. The children stay in the home full time, which gives them more time to adapt to the other changes in the family. The parents may live in separate areas within the home or, more commonly, in another location when they are “off-duty.”

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  • divorce, separation, children, community property, collaborative divorce, cohabitating, collaborative
  • Category: Kids

Ezra Migel, Zoe Migel, Eva and 1 other commented on this Post

02-06-2015 12:00 am

OM, If You Want To...

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It was not love at first sight with yoga and me. I was a hippie child, and yoga was but one of a long laundry list of annoying things my mother subjected me to, including tofu and picking up sketchy hitchhikers in our dilapidated 1973 Volkswagen Bug on the way to the hot springs in New Mexico. I thought it was particularly mortifying to chant the sound of OMMMMMM, and I mocked the groovy, un-ironic language and vegetable-dyed cheesecloth garb of the over-earnest, patchouli-smelling teachers and their disciples.

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  • yoga
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Alane and Jeannie O'Conor commented on this Post

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Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution, enabling two people to resolve their conflicts without having to go to court. As with choosing an attorney, choosing a mediator to handle your divorce requires diligence to find the best one suited to your needs and one that is well versed in the laws of your particular state. In all cases, a fair mediator is one that recognizes and understands how to handle the power balance between the spouses.

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  • divorce, Mediation
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho and Ellen Boland commented on this Post

11-04-2014 03:22 am

Divorce is a Process

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Divorce is a process of separation and transformation – a process that begins long before the dissolution decree. Its stages – cognitive, emotional, physical, legal, and spiritual – if worked through, can substantially lessen your pain. The reason for “Divorce Court” melodrama is because couples are trying to make the legal separation while they haven’t separated emotionally, though they may be physically apart. The emotional separation, discussed last, is the cornerstone for transformation.

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  • divorce, cognitive, emotional, spiritual, resilience, coping
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho, Tim and Liza commented on this Post

11-05-2014 12:00 am

Zane Grey

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We’ve all been sold a bill of goods- that marriage is the sine qua non of a happy life. But statistics tell a different tale: that roughly half of all marriages end in divorce, and that even more- upwards of 60-70% of second marriages crash and burn, often with devastating consequences for the involved parties and children left scattered among the detritus. And actuarial tables and studies have shown us again and again that married women are the least emotionally and physically healthy participants in a marriage, while men report the most satisfaction within the confines of marriage. When we are confronted with the stereotype on a constant basis that men are commitment-phobes, and women are needy, MRS-degree seeking, marriage-obsessed neurotics, how do we resolve this paradox and make sense of modern marriage?

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  • marriage
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Zoe Migel, Caroline Ticho and Jeannie O'Conor commented on this Post

Post - 1

Is that license to lie about your age when Internet dating? Since most people, after a certain
age, lie about their age in person anyway I guess it’s not terrible as long as your pictures are
current. Unfortunately, cyber-dating has gotten a bad rap, rightfully so, since most people put
very inaccurate pictures….like who is going to notice I’m 10 years older, 40 pounds heavier
and going bald. According to Huffington Post recently, approximately half the people online
do lie, both men and women.

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  • dating after divorce, Dating, online dating, honesty, Humour
  • Category: Dating

Caroline Ticho and Brian commented on this Post

12-23-2014 12:00 am

HELLIDAYS NO MORE

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If you’ve lived them which is probably why you are reading this, you know what I’m talking about…and it’s not what Hallmark brainwashes us with. For those of us living divorce, it’s those excruciating times of year - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s - when the pain of loneliness and the issues of dealing with kids and family members often leads to way too many sweets, overimbibing and general mental distress. After too many unwanted pounds, hangovers and sad children, I’ve decided to ditch the self pity and Hallmark’s indoctrination of holiday perfection and get mad as hell and not take it anymore. Easier said than done but no one ever said marriage, divorce or parenting were easy. No, my life is not Ozzie and Harriet Hallmark perfect but my life isn’t over come the hellidays, it’s just different.

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  • Holdays, Blended family
  • Category: Dating

Caroline Ticho, Ellen Boland and Tim commented on this Post

03-01-2015 06:40 am

Feel the Fear...and Do it Anyway

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Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

"The sea is dangerous and its storms terrible, but these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore. . . . Unlike the mediocre, intrepid spirits seek victory over those things that seem impossible. . . . It is with an iron will that they embark on the most daring of all endeavors. . . . to meet the shadowy future without fear and conquer the unknown."

— Ferdinand Magellan, c. 1520

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  • fear, freedom, change, divorce
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho, Zoe Migel and Jeannie O'Conor commented on this Post

03-01-2015 06:30 am

Table for One

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Table for One
I don’t know about you, but it seems my ears are so in tune to picking up on the relationship status of others, that in fact, I would say that it is the majority which refers to the pronoun, “we” when sharing their upcoming plans, ideas, or in simple everyday comments. Is everyone married or in a committed relationship, or am I just super sensitive and preoccupied with this notion, perhaps all stemming from some insecurity which lies deep beneath my psyche, or maybe I’m just surrounding myself more with these types of individuals? On careful contemplation on the later, I can see by having kids of my own and not wanting to engage in the wild, single, post-divorce party bar scene, naturally, I guess I do associate more with the family, health oriented types. After years of establishing and finding comfort in my daily routine and relishing in my new found strength since my own divorce, why would my comparison of others’ bliss affect me so?

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  • dinner, relationships, dinning, Life After Divorce
  • Category: Dating

Caroline Ticho, Zoe Migel and Ellen Boland commented on this Post

03-01-2015 07:00 am

45 Life Lessons + 5 to grow on

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“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:”

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Pay off your credit cards every month.
You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

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  • Life, lessons, aging, Wisdom
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho commented on this Post

01-26-2015 12:00 pm

Children and Divorce

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We can try and shelter our children from many of the emotional turmoils which undoubtedly lie before them or in some cases purposely thrown their way during or after divorce. For some of us, their mere presence is or was what affects the process in a way making this type of divorce so different than one where children are not involved. If no children are “the day” then the involvement of children is certainly “the night”! There is no mistaking it, children, as hard as we may shelter them, are left to face their own process through this dreary time. And if there be one thing which helps us all to process, I believe it is conversation…keep our children talking! Well, for anyone with teenagers, this can be like prying that designer leather shoe from a pup’s clenched teeth after chasing him far under the king size bed upstairs

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  • divorce, children, communication
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho commented on this Post

02-15-2015 10:30 am

Happy Valentine's Day! 

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"All the single ladies! Now put your hands up..." - Beyoncé

February 14th is (can be) very overwhelming! Flowers! Chocolates! Stuffed animals! Couples left and right!

Who says a single GAL can't breeze through this day of "LOVE" with out a valentine?

Here is what you need to start your Valentine's day party, full of deliciously filling & empowering fun!

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  • Share The Love, Love Yourself, Valentines
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

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The length of time it takes to get over a breakup has been a classic topic up for debate. If you’re part of the “Sex and the City” camp, you follow that it takes about half the amount of time as the relationship.

Others ascertain that you can’t put a timeline on healing a broken heart (also a great excuse for eating your face off and crying into a bucket of KFC well past the one-year mark).

And if you’re Taylor Swift, you’re pretty much screwed.

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  • Dating, break up, health
  • Category: Dating

Zoe Migel, Caroline Ticho, Brian and 1 other commented on this Post

10-21-2014 10:00 am

My Own Private Idaho

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I’ve noticed that we women tend to go through a period of internal anarchy when a marriage ends. Propelled by fear, dread, anxiety, we hurl ourselves headlong into an experiment with behavior ranging from uncharacteristically daring to full-blown Lost Weekend (or in my case, 47 Lost Weekends). This can result in personal growth, when we break free of stereotypes and patterns that have kept us down, or it can be…well, self-destructive. This tendency can be so extreme that I think we should all get a free pass for, say, a year from the time the marriage ends to allow us the time to achieve balance again. When my marriage to the AntiChrist ended, I embarked on an ill-advised, inappropriate, loveless affair with a 23-year old former lacrosse All-American- my friend’s husband’s NEPHEW, for God’s sake.

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  • women, divorce, Dating, newly divorced, sex, taboo
  • Category: Moving On After Divorce

Caroline Ticho, Zoe Migel, Jeannie O'Conor and 1 other commented on this Post

11-28-2014 12:00 am

DOG-EAT-DOG-DIVORCE

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Due to a growing shift in our society pets, now considered family members, have become part of the dogfight. By close of 2014, at least 80 million pets will reside in more than 60 million households across the US. Couples are having fewer kids and more pets (more than $58 billion will be spent on pets in 2014 in US). How often do you hear a pet owner call themselves ‘mom’ or ‘dad’?

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  • Category: Dating

Zoe Migel, Caroline Ticho and Ellen Boland commented on this Post

10-21-2014 06:00 am

Say it Ain't So, Snuffy!

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Can You Tell Me How to Get to Sesame Street? Today the children’s Television Workshop announced the launch of a new episode of Sesame Street that- 44 years after the beloved PBS staple’s premiere- addresses the subject of divorce. WHAT, you say, aghast, they haven’t done that yet? Weren’t all of our parents divorced in the 70s when we were glued to the screen, gleefully reeling off our numbers with the Count, and hoping for a glimpse of the elusive Snuffleupagus, wondering if he was but a paranoid figment of Big Bird’s neurotic imagination?

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  • children, sesame street, divorce
  • Category: Kids

Martin Capeletto, kyle, Zoe Migel and 1 other commented on this Post