03-01-2015 06:30 am
Table for One
I don’t know about you, but it seems my ears are so in tune to picking up on the relationship status of others, that in fact, I would say that it is the majority which refers to the pronoun, “we” when sharing their upcoming plans, ideas, or in simple everyday comments. Is everyone married or in a committed relationship, or am I just super sensitive and preoccupied with this notion, perhaps all stemming from some insecurity which lies deep beneath my psyche, or maybe I’m just surrounding myself more with these types of individuals? On careful contemplation on the later, I can see by having kids of my own and not wanting to engage in the wild, single, post-divorce party bar scene, naturally, I guess I do associate more with the family, health oriented types. After years of establishing and finding comfort in my daily routine and relishing in my new found strength since my own divorce, why would my comparison of others’ bliss affect me so?
If I’ve learned anything through it all, it is to BE CAREFUL on the next time around, use your intuition, know what you really want, and wait for it! Okay, easier said than done, but with this comes that reminder which steered my whole process through the painful decision of divorce to begin with,go ahead with divorce prepared that you may be alone for the rest of your life. The thought of making the same mistake again sits front and center. Call it lack of trust or a closed heart, but years ago it did help me understand my intentions to prepare myself for this realization. There was no way that I was divorcing simply to move one man to the side making room for Mr. Wonderful to step in. This seemed wrong at the time, and still does today.
Because of my observant nature, I have witnessed many over the years quickly jump right back into committed relationships and second/third marriages after parting from prior spouses. And as you may guess, I am continuing to watch them, almost waiting for the floor to open up on their well-intended plans just so I can say, (to myself of course), and “See, of course that would never work out!” Social media seems to feed my curiosity, and I often wonder what more productive things I could be doing other than keeping up with their family vacations, romantic dinners out and about, or gagging over their happy faces and comments… Is it possible, they really are happy?
Life has a way of humbling the most confident of souls, and I guess what it all boils down to is am I contributing something to this world? We are able to contribute through our careers, through our families and the ones around us, and for some through committed marriages. As long as it is through something, I believe we are moving in a positive direction. Can we have it all? Quite possibly, yes, we can contribute in all directions, but due to circumstances out of our own control, it is not demanded of us. Simply put, find contentment where you are today and embrace the excitement of curiosity because not one of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Now, that is interesting!! “Waiter, table for one please!”