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Modern Shift shared an Experience

Modern Shift

Modern Shift

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Wisdom

Modern Shift shared an Experience

How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)

Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones. It is okay if you don’t finish school, get married, find a job that supports you, have a family, make money, and live comfortably all by this age, or that age. It’s okay if you do, as long as you understand that if you’re not married by 25, or a Vice President by 30 — or even happy, for that matter — the world isn’t going to condemn you. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that. We choose a program right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we didn’t love our program, because we just invested time into it...

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How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)

Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones. It is okay if you don’t finish school, get married, find a job that supports you, have a family, make money, and live comfortably all by this age, or that age. It’s okay if you do, as long as you understand that if you’re not married by 25, or a Vice President by 30 — or even happy, for that matter — the world isn’t going to condemn you. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that. We choose a program right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we didn’t love our program, because we just invested time into it. We go to that job every morning because we feel the need to support ourselves abundantly. We take the next step, and the next step, and the next step, thinking that we are fulfilling some checklist for life, and one day we wake up depressed. We wake up stressed out. We feel pressured and don’t know why. That is how you ruin your life.

Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones. It is okay if you don’t finish school, get married, find a job that supports you, have a family, make money, and live comfortably all by this age, or that age. It’s okay if you do, as long as you understand that if you’re not married by 25, or a Vice President by 30 — or even happy, for that matter — the world isn’t going to condemn you. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that. We choose a program right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we didn’t love our program, because we just invested time into it. We go to that job every morning because we feel the need to support ourselves abundantly. We take the next step, and the next step, and the next step, thinking that we are fulfilling some checklist for life, and one day we wake up depressed. We wake up stressed out. We feel pressured and don’t know why. That is how you ruin your life.

You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person. What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies? Trust me when I say that a love bred out of convenience, a love that blossoms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion, is a love that will not inspire you at 6am when you roll over and embrace it. Strive to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman, the kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone,” we often exclaim. Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.

You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively. You will miss out on opportunities because you didn’t get that promotion five years ago, convincing yourself that you were stupid. You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren’t good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. The amount of Instagram followers you have does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank account will not influence your compassion, your intelligence, or your happiness. The person who has two times more possessions than you does not have double the bliss, or double the merit. We get caught up in what our friends are liking, who our significant others are following, and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives, but it also ruins us. It creates within us this need to feel important, and in many cases we often put others down to achieve that.

You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that.

You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. The next Michelangelo could be sitting behind a Macbook right now writing an invoice for paperclips, because it pays the bills, or because it is comfortable, or because he can tolerate it. Do not let this happen to you. Do not ruin your life this way. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life.

By Bianca Sparacino

Original Source

http://thoughtcatalog.com/bianca-sparacino/2014/11/how-to-ruin-your-life-without-even-noticing-that-you-are/

Photo Credit

Erin Kelly

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How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)



Understand that life is not a strai...

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Life, Life After Divorce, moving on

Modern Shift shared an Experience

50 Things I've Done Since My Divorce That You Should Do Too

By Sarcastic Fringehead for DivorcedMoms.com

In the years following my divorce I've done the following things. I can't recommend them highly enough.

1. Totally fallen apart.

2. Completely pulled myself back together again.

3. Repeated 1 and 2 several times.

4. Upped the meds.

5. Stopped caring what he thinks of me.

6. Stopped caring what most people think of me.

7. Started having sex again.

8. Really enjoyed it for the first time.

9. Traveled alone.

10. Traveled alone with my kids.

11. Confidently started saying "table for one" without being apologetic.

12. Decided that "with his new wife" was my go to answer to "Where's your husband?"

13. Laughed at my level of happiness.

14. Cried at my level of sadness.

15. Asked for help.
...

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50 Things I've Done Since My Divorce That You Should Do Too

By Sarcastic Fringehead for DivorcedMoms.com

In the years following my divorce I've done the following things. I can't recommend them highly enough.

1. Totally fallen apart.

2. Completely pulled myself back together again.

3. Repeated 1 and 2 several times.

4. Upped the meds.

5. Stopped caring what he thinks of me.

6. Stopped caring what most people think of me.

7. Started having sex again.

8. Really enjoyed it for the first time.

9. Traveled alone.

10. Traveled alone with my kids.

11. Confidently started saying "table for one" without being apologetic.

12. Decided that "with his new wife" was my go to answer to "Where's your husband?"

13. Laughed at my level of happiness.

14. Cried at my level of sadness.

15. Asked for help.

16. Received it.

17. Admitted defeat.

18. Claimed victory.

19. Lowered all my bills.

20. Found my own place to live.

21. Negotiated my own lease.

22. Got my own credit card in my name.

23. Got my old name back.

24. Checked off "Head of Household" on more than one form.

25. Went back to work.

26. Went back to school.

27. Went back to bed.

28. Powered through.

29. Curled up in the fetal position.

30. Cried openly.

31. Cried alone.

32. Cried with my children.

33. Wiped their tears.

34. Stopped thinking about what should have been.

35. Started working on what could be.

36. Counted my blessings.

37. Been pissed off at what sometimes seems my curse.

38. Started thinking for myself.

39. Dyed my hair, at various times, purple, green and blue.

40. Considered a tattoo or piercing.

41. Decided that "Fuck yes!" is my motto.

42. Told him to fuck off.

43. Rebuilt.

44. Renewed.

45. Rethought relationships.

46. Asked Spirit for help.

47. Stopped getting Brazilian waxes.

48. Stopped looking for answers.

49. Started moving forward.

50. Genuinely began looking forward to the future.

By Sarcastic Fringehead for DivorcedMoms.com

Original Source

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/divorced-moms/50-things-ive-done-since-_b_6065134.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

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50 Things I've Done Since My Divorce That You Should Do Too



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divorce, moving on, Let Go

Modern Shift shared an Experience

Let go and be free, little birds!

How To Let Go Of People Who No Longer Need, Or Want, To Be In Your Life

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~ Stephen King

One of the hardest things in life is to let go of the people we love the most.

We hold on to those close to us so tightly, fearing that without them we will be nothing. Fearing that without them the love we feel in our hearts will be forever lost.

Our attachment interferes with the love we have for them, taking away from the...

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Let go and be free, little birds!

How To Let Go Of People Who No Longer Need, Or Want, To Be In Your Life

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~ Stephen King

One of the hardest things in life is to let go of the people we love the most.

We hold on to those close to us so tightly, fearing that without them we will be nothing. Fearing that without them the love we feel in our hearts will be forever lost.

Our attachment interferes with the love we have for them, taking away from the purity and the beauty that love has to offer.

Deepak Chopra says it best with these words: “Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires. Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand – “Make me feel whole.” Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.”

I have been in a relationship with my former long-time boyfriend for almost 10 years, on and off and even though our relationship became very toxic after the first 3 years, I found it impossible to let go simply because I knew that without him I would be very unhappy and the irony is that I was already very unhappy, we both were.

“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” ~ Haruki Murakami

Letting go doesn’t have to be that hard, in fact, it becomes easier and easier as we learn to accept, appreciate and love ourselves for who we are and for who we are not.

Releasing and letting go will help you return to a place of peace and tranquility.

There comes a time in our lives when we have to do what’s right and to honor not only ourselves, but also the people around us. It’s the relationship that you are letting go of but not the love you have for the other person.

If you love something, if you love someone, and if you feel that you need to let go of them, if it’s required to let go, do it. It might hurt at first but once the pain is gone you will feel more alive than you have ever felt. You will start to see things from a totally different perspective and you will understand that letting go is a sign of strength, of courage and of great love.

You let go of someone not because you no longer care, not because you no longer need and want them in your life, but because you understand that they will be happier someplace else. You will be happy someplace else.

This is what true love is all about.

Real love transcends the material plane and no matter if your bodies are apart, your souls will forever be connected.

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

If you haven’t found a way to be at peace with yourself, and if you haven’t found a way to be happy on your own, chances are that you won’t be happy next to the person you love either. You can’t expect to get from others what you yourself don’t have to offer.

Love yourself. Be good to yourself.

Change the thoughts you think and the words you speak. Purify your internal dialogue. Learn to talk to, and about, yourself in the same way you would talk to, and about, those you love the most.

Meditate. Spend time alone. Take a walk and explore nature with your senses. Write about your thoughts and feelings. Do something you’re passionate about. Go out with your friends. Laugh, dance, be silly, be weird, be playful, be childlike. Do all the things that bring you joy and laughter.

Treat yourself with kindness, love and compassion and learn to express your gratitude for the many gifts life offered you up until this moment.

Take your focus away from those things that cause you to feel pain, stress, anxiety, fear and unhappiness, on to those things that make your heart sing, on to those things that make you happy.

This too shall pass and the more you learn to enjoy your own company, the more comfortable you will be with this idea of letting go and all of a sudden life will become a lot easier.

“Be like the forces of nature: when it blows, there is only wind; when it rains, there is only rain; when the clouds pass, the sun shines through.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Let go and trust that maybe life has better plans for you. Go with the flow and not against it.

Why hold on to something good when life wants you to have something better?

Are you holding on to something or someone you need to let go of? Why? What keep you from letting go? You can share your comment by joining the conversation in the comment section below

by Luminita D. Saviuc

Original Source

http://truththeory.com/2014/12/28/how-to-let-go-of-people-who-no-longer-need-or-want-to-be-in-your-life/

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Let go and be free, little birds!



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Let Go, love, divorce

Marsh Cochran Sutherland shared an Experience

Divorced dad who's ex passed away from cancer in 2013. Raising my 8 and 10 year old kids by myself.


Modern Shift commented on this Experience

Ezra Migel shared an Experience

Happy Holidays!!!

Many thanks and much appreciation to all that have been a part of getting Modern Shift off the ground. When I say all... I mean Martin, Iago, and the team they have assembled. We could not have done this without you.

Our very best to all of you and your families.

Look forward to all that we will do in 2015!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

Many thanks and much appreciation to all that have been a part of getting Mode...

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New Year

Ezra Migel shared an Event

31 Where: 10918 Brockway Rd, Truckee, CA 96161, United States.
When: Dec, 31, 2014 06:00 am

New Years in "Church" Backcountry Heliskiing with Pacific Crest Heli-Guides

New Years in "Church" Backcountry Heliskiing with Pacific Crest Heli-Guides

While you’ve been making the most out of the conventional chairlift route for some time, this flight-savvy outfit out of Alaska will give you and three of your most snow-proficient friends direct access to 100,000 backcountry acres (covering territory that’s four times all of Tahoe combined). Which means you’ll be attempting uncharted runs in remote, never-been-skied bowls, peaks and mountainsides from Donner to Sierra Buttes.

WHEN

Through March 16th

WHERE

Pacific Crest Heli-Guides

10918 Brockway Rd

Truckee, CA 96161

(888) 792-9222

http://www.pacificcrestsnowcats.com/

ORIGINAL SOURCE

https://sosh.com/members/UrbanDaddy/

PHOTO CREDIT

Visit Greenland


Ezra Migel commented on this Event

New Years Eve, New Years Resolution, Skiing, Snowboarding, adventure, Snow, GoSF

Ezra Migel shared an Event

31 Where: Fort Mason Center, Marina Boulevard, San Francisco, CA, United States.
When: Dec, 31, 2014 09:00 pm

The 6th Annual Streets of San Francisco NYE with Chromeo

The 6th Annual Streets of San Francisco NYE with Chromeo

San Francisco's #1 New Year's Eve party for the 21+. Nationally recognized by VICE Magazine, Huffington Post, Rolling Stone, and DJ Mag. Winner of "Best Event in San Francisco." Featuring award-winning event production and Premium Open Bar all night with the best Bartender-to-Guest ratio in the country.

WHEN

Wed, Dec. 31st 9:00pm - 2:00am

WHERE

Fort Mason Center

Buchanan St & Marina Blvd

http://eyeheartsf.com/

Original Source

http://www.sfgate.com/events/#/event/3646272-streets-of-san-francisco-nye?location=94103-san-francisco§ions=all&date=today

PHOTO CREDIT

David Yu


Ezra Migel commented on this Event

New Years Eve, Events San Francisco, GoSF, Nightlife, Party, Dancing

Jon Smith shared an Event

31 Where: 13 East 1st Street, New York, NY, United States.
When: Dec, 31, 2014 08:30 pm

Pop, Clink, Salute! Italian-Inspired NYE

Pop, Clink, Salute! Italian-Inspired NYE

Let the Countdown Begin

This year, steer clear of busy lines and over-crowded clubs and make your way to L’Apicio for a memorable four-course Italian feast. This prix fixe meal is created by Chef Gabe Thompson and sommelier partner Joe Campanale, the winning team behind West Village hot spots Dell’anima and L’Artusi. The team’s restaurants are known for their modern Italian dishes characterized by simplicity and deep flavor.

But what's an Italian feast without some wine? Keep the vino flowing with 30% off large-format magnum wine bottles all night long. The dining room will also be ornamented with plenty of party favors with a live countdown at midnight paired with a celebratory toast. Salute!

WHEN

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31

VARIOUS TIMES STARTING AT 8:30PM

WHERE

L'APICIO

13 EAST 1ST ST

NEW YORK, NY 10003

Original Sourc...

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Let the Countdown Begin

This year, steer clear of busy lines and over-crowded clubs and make your way to L’Apicio for a memorable four-course Italian feast. This prix fixe meal is created by Chef Gabe Thompson and sommelier partner Joe Campanale, the winning team behind West Village hot spots Dell’anima and L’Artusi. The team’s restaurants are known for their modern Italian dishes characterized by simplicity and deep flavor.

But what's an Italian feast without some wine? Keep the vino flowing with 30% off large-format magnum wine bottles all night long. The dining room will also be ornamented with plenty of party favors with a live countdown at midnight paired with a celebratory toast. Salute!

WHEN

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31

VARIOUS TIMES STARTING AT 8:30PM

WHERE

L'APICIO

13 EAST 1ST ST

NEW YORK, NY 10003

Original Source

https://secure.sosh.com/new-york-city/marketplace/lapicio/m/4wyZ/?promo_type=marketplace_promo&ref=new_homepage_promo&content_type=3

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Jon Smith commented on this Event

New Years Eve, Events New York, GoNYC

Ezra Migel shared an Event

26 Where: 1896 Hyde Street, San Francisco, CA, United States.
When: Jan, 26, 2015 06:00 pm

Collaboration Dinner for Charity with Monsieur Benjamin

Collaboration Dinner for Charity with Monsieur Benjamin

In January, Stones Throw welcomes Monsieur Benjamin's Chef Jason Berthold for another dinner for charity. Under the direction of celebrated chefs Corey Lee (Michelin-starred Benu, French Laundry) and Jason Berthold (Mina Group's RN74), Monsieur Benjamin is one of 2014's hottest new restaurants and has garnered both critical and popular acclaim.

Make 2015 the year you become a philanthropist with Stones Throw's "Eat Like a Chef, Drink Like a Sommelier" dinner series in support of All Stars Helping Kids (ASHK). After a wildly successful first season ($23,000 raised!), another stellar roster of guest chefs and sommeliers visits each month for an incredible evening of food and wine.

"Eat Like a Chef, Drink Like a Sommelier" is a unique opportunity to immerse yourself in the foodie and philanthropy worlds. Just by enjoying a memorable m...

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In January, Stones Throw welcomes Monsieur Benjamin's Chef Jason Berthold for another dinner for charity. Under the direction of celebrated chefs Corey Lee (Michelin-starred Benu, French Laundry) and Jason Berthold (Mina Group's RN74), Monsieur Benjamin is one of 2014's hottest new restaurants and has garnered both critical and popular acclaim.

Make 2015 the year you become a philanthropist with Stones Throw's "Eat Like a Chef, Drink Like a Sommelier" dinner series in support of All Stars Helping Kids (ASHK). After a wildly successful first season ($23,000 raised!), another stellar roster of guest chefs and sommeliers visits each month for an incredible evening of food and wine.

"Eat Like a Chef, Drink Like a Sommelier" is a unique opportunity to immerse yourself in the foodie and philanthropy worlds. Just by enjoying a memorable meal, you and ASHK can improve the lives of disadvantaged youth in the Bay Area. ASHK was founded by four-time Super Bowl Champion and Hall of Famer Ronnie Lott to provide seed funding, consulting services, and one-on-one organizational support for growing nonprofits working with kids.

WHERE

Stones Throw

1896 Hyde St

(415) 796-2901

http://stonesthrowsf.com

WHEN

Mon, Jan. 26th, 2015

Original Source

http://sosh.com/san-francisco/stones-throw/collaboration-dinner-for-charity-with-monsieur-benjamin/a/8bkV/?ref=new_homepage

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Dinner For Charity, Go SF, Foodie